luvxander: (Default)
It's not even December yet and I'm already sick of Christmas. The stores and locations around here started playing Christmas music a week or so before Thanksgiving. They've had their decorations and things out since even before that.

Can someone just shoot Santa and let us all out of our misery.

Add to all this that I have no money to buy anything for anyone and feel guilty when people buy me stuff if I can't return the gesture, and this just feeds my depression.

Also? This makes me feel like the world's biggest loser, but...I miss my Mommy. She moved from here in Mobile to Tennessee this past September. Prior to this move, I had lived with her for over 34 years and, quite literally, never been away from her for more than a week at a time. I know I should be a grown up and be able to move out and be all independent and stuff, but I really just want to curl up with my mom on the sofa and watch TV that I'll complain about or listen to her tell me about all her various doctor visits even though I know she's totally a hypochondriac.

To be honest, the woman drives me insane, but she's my mommy and I miss her.

Go ahead...tell me how lame I am.
luvxander: (dirty)
This theory I had about a latent male gene inside myself causing me to fun far away from former sex partners may have just been disproved. I am currently skating on the high of having my second "date" with the same guy. Granted, these "dates" were separated by a bit of time, but still, I think my point stands.

ION: I've been in and out of many fandoms since my start as a yung'un in the BTVS fandom, like 10 years ago. And I know this has been a discussion of MUCH debate for all those years and many many many years before, but please people....if you're going to post a fic, no matter what it is, I'm begging you to have it beta read. Or at the very least, run it through a spelling/grammar check (grammar being very important for my point). It's gotten to the point where I'm actually expecting to see your/you're, there/their/they're mistakes. But the one that I've been seeing so much of lately is, for some unknown reason, using then instead of than. The phrase is NOT "better then that", it's "better THAN that".

Please, for the sake of my sanity? Also, because I've been rolling my eyes so much lately that it's starting to give me headaches.

Restless

Dec. 26th, 2009 11:11 pm
luvxander: (Default)
I have no clue why I suddenly have Hold On by Wilson Phillips stuck in my head.

Does it make me insane that all I really want right now is someone to hold my hand while I watch TV?
luvxander: (Zombie)
So Christmas has been pretty much canceled at my place this year. We're having the traditional dinner, but that's about it. No one has the money to give gifts...hell, we can't even afford to pay all our bills. I'm seriously thinking of taking the tree down tomorrow. It's just to depressing to look at.

My mother seems to be collecting medical bills like crazy and we just found out that her insurance didn't pay for her most recent surgery, so everything that had been bought had to be returned to pay for that. My car is costing me even more than her doctor bills, though. It cost me over $400 for new tires not even 3 months ago, now I've had to shell out another $800 to get the entire brake system fixed. Now the wiring for the internal lights has shorted out and has to be replaced. And on top of all that, it seems I picked up some dirty gas somewhere and it's affecting my engine. Gods only know what that's going to cost me in the long run.

There are people out there to whom I owe cards. I'm going to try to get them out, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to. I'm really sorry.

As if all this weren't bad enough, I can't seem to find anyone that's hiring even for part time help and willing to work around my school schedule. So no job for CJ. That means no spending money, little or no gas money, all that. Thankfully, my mom is still able to buy groceries and such or we'd all starve.

I can't wait until January when I get my student loan check so I can hopefully have enough to get something done about my bills. And I'm still hoping to put back enough out of that to have my vacation in the summer. I really don't want to cancel that.

/whine
luvxander: (Default)
That whole hurricane/tropical storm thing they've been warning us about. Yeah, that was huge. oooo, it rained. There was wind. Come on, this is Mobile, Alabama....if there's a day without wind and rain, THAT'S when we call the National Guard. Yet people were still freaking over it. Whatever! Just get out of my way and continue your freak out.

In other news, there is no news really. My life is dreadfully boring. I'm mostly just biding my time until True Blood starts up again.

The search for a part time job still continues. Classes are going pretty good, anxiety over Algebra not included.

Oh, we got the announcement for our Computers project today. WTF? We had over a month to work on project 1, we have less than 3 weeks to do project 2? And project 2 is WAY more difficult than project 1? Are you freaking kidding me?

Oh oh oh oh!!!! V is tonight!! I can't wait. I know there's only been 1 episode so far, but I have loved V since I was wee little bitty, and this re-imagining is like letting my wee little bitty self free in a big ass candy store with no limits.

Anyone have any V icons that are shareable as of yet?

Please tell me there's someone else out there squeeing over this show with me? Don't leave me hanging people!
luvxander: (Sam as your savior)
Due to changes at home, I will be without the internet while there for the next few days. We're changing companies and Mediacom shut us off today, but AT&T won't install until either Thursday or Friday of this week. I'll still have internet while at school and when visiting certain friends, so feel free to email and let me know what I'm missing.

Miss you guys!!
luvxander: (Default)
I was looking for fic to read and, logically, turned to the fic rec tags of my flist peeps. So, yes, I totally blame [livejournal.com profile] turnonmyheels for my now feverish desire to watch the entire second season of Gossip Girl. In fact, I've just gotten back from a friend's house where I went over on the pretense of hanging out, but in reality was downloading her DVR eps to my flashdrive.

Have I mentioned that I love those people who get the good, expensive DVR's that cut out commercials and the like?

Now I'm frustrated because I finally have all the eps on my laptop, but I can't watch one because I'm supposed to meet another friend at the theater in just over half an hour to watch Star Trek, FINALLY!!!

Remind me again, why did I seek out an active social life? All it does is interfere with my TV schedule.

Hi

Aug. 22nd, 2008 01:38 pm
luvxander: (Default)
Jared Padalecki has sexy feet.

That is all.
luvxander: (Default)
Photobucket
luvxander: (Default)
I'm at work. My sanity is only saved by the fact that we now have free wifi.

Today has just been the most awful day. So, I'm going to do this letter thing that I've seen so many of you do.

Dear redneck trash woman:

It is not MY fault that you waited until after school started to try and get your kid's summer reading books. Of course we're sold out, everyone else has already been in and bought the same damn book!!! Stop screaming at me about MY incompetence when it's clear by the way you keep smacking your kid that you don't really give a damn anyway.

Fuck off,

CJ

*copy this to nearly every customer I've had today, changing woman to man as needed*

Dear Employee:

It is not my responsibility to call you and tell you when you have to be at work. If you're too stupid or lazy to check your schedule when it's posted on WEDNESDAY, do not come crying to me that you didn't know you had to work on SUNDAY!!!!

Stop calling me!!!

CJ


And, I think that's it. I'll be much more relaxed once my relief manager gets here and I can finally go to lunch.

Sorry for the spam,

Love,

CJ

Whew!!

Jun. 29th, 2008 03:55 am
luvxander: (Default)
I just got home!!

I went over to my friends' Margaret and Jason's house tonight. We hung out for a while, then decided to go rent movies and cook instead of going out to eat and to a movie. We rented The Reaping, The Mist, Spiderwick Chronicles, and something called Fido about a pet zombie.

We made fried chicken, homemade mac & cheese, and a peach pie that we found in a weight watchers cookbook. It was so good, all of it, OMG!!

By the time we got finished eating, it was already getting late, but we went ahead and watched The Mist (which I loved, but they didn't), and The Reaping (which I'd seen already and liked it enough to watch again - they liked it too). By then, it was after 3am, so I decided to head home.

I am so tired. But I'm glad I got to hang out with them. I don't get to just hang out with many RL people. But now, I miss my online friends. So I'm going to do my best to be online tomorrow evening for anyone who wants to hit me up. I may be a bit distracted because, the Gods know, I can't sit still for anything, but I'll try to be there.

I'm really looking forward to Wall E too. I may see if Sonja wants to go hit a matinee tomorrow. Or just pop in on James and see it for free.

Now, I'm off to watch the new Doctor Who (thank you so much, you know who).

Also, OMG how much do I love the new(ish) Rhianna song, Take a Bow? A lot, that's how much.
luvxander: (luvxander)
CJ has gone insane.

I left work at 2:15 this morning. It is now 7:45 in the morning. I have to be awake in 5ish hours. I'm not even a little bit sleepy.

Just finished reading a Sentinel/BtVS crossover by [livejournal.com profile] lit_gal, Experience Curve, which is the sequel to Learning Curve. I loved them both. So much so that I actually put off watching One Tree Hill on tuesday night, and Torchwood last night, so that I could keep reading.

The pairings are Jim/Blair, Blair/Xander, Xander/Spike. But Riley's character is introduced later in the story (Riley/Buffy, nothing explicit), and now I have a huge hankering for Riley/Xander fic. I don't know how many people on my flist still keep up with the BtVS fandom, or still have their links, but would anyone be able to point me toward long or longish Riley/Xander fics? I still like the smut and porn, but these days I seem to go more for the caring, romantic stories than the smutty.

If anyone can help, thanks loads.

Night, people. *weeps bitterly*
luvxander: (Ianto - Sad)
When did they invent whatever it is they use to make three days seem like just one long, endless, fucktastic day?

In order to get everyone who doesn't know, which is probably most of you since I'm horrible about updating:

On Tuesday, we found out my Uncle Luke, my Mom's only brother, was in the hospital. In ICU, critical condition. Wednesday morning, we got the call that he was gone. I just got home from taking my Mom up to meet with my Aunt Mary, their cousin, and Aunt M's two daughters so she can ride with them down to Florida for the funeral.

I don't really remember much about him. If I try really hard, I can pull up flashes of his face, laughing and smiling. He was always happy. The last time I saw him, we went on a walk together. His doctor had recently told him that he needed more exercise and he said we should go together so he wouldn't get bored and cheat.

We didn't really talk about much at all. He asked me about what was going on in my life and I babbled on endlessly about work and all the not so important details that seemed so big at the time. He told me a little about what was going on with him. But there was so much that I didn't get to say to him, that I didn't even think to say.

I should have told him how much I loved him. How grateful I was for him being there after my dad died.

I hope he had some idea of what an influence he was on my life. He will be greatly missed.
luvxander: (Default)
I know, I haven't posted or been online in a while. I'm sorry, to those of you who care, but work has been awful. Remind me again why I work retail? The good news is that the working conditions have improved a good bit since the Assistant Manager from hell got transfered to another store. The bad news is, we've all been having to pull extra hours because, a) we always have extra hours at christmas and b) we're a manager short until after the holidays.

What brings me here tonight is something that I can only describe as a public service announcement and which, I'm sure, will (or should) earn me enough karma points to ascend to nirvana my first go around.

I was sitting around tonight after work, bored as hell. So I went over to Netflix.com, where they have this nifty 'watch instantly' feature you can use. I thumbed through the horror section and came upon this movie called, The Wolves of Kromer. Never before have I hated a movie with so much passion. It was like a train wreck. I was offended by it's very existence, it was so bad. And this is saying something. I've liked movies before that other's thought were utterly disturbing in their awfulness.

The actual review I left?

"I rated this movie one star simply because there was no option for a negative rating. The only thing that can be considered 'horror' about this movie is the fact that it was made. I've never seen anything this awful in my life. The acting is atrocious, the writing is horrible, and my 8 year old niece has directed better works in her bathtub using nothing but rubber duckies."

And that was me being nice. Of course, it has yet to show up on their site, so I'm not holding my breath that it'll be seen.

In related news: I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. I want to stay home and play. My laptop, Daniel, died on me. Thanks to my mom loaning me some money until payday, Daniel was able to be reborn in the form of a much better laptop and I just installed my PC version of Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.

*sigh* I guess I should get to bed though, since they don't accept playing games as a reason to miss work. (they so should)

But, before I go, here's a meme I stole from [livejournal.com profile] jacklemmon

Band Name: Victor deGrazia
Album: Hugues-Bernard Maret, duc de Bassano

1. The Islamic Society of Central New York
2. 155th Street (IND Concourse Line)
3. 1631 in music
4. Spellbound
5. Dymock
6. Saint-Marcellin
7. Southport Lord Street railway station
8. James Henry Carleton
9. Mohawk Upper Castle Historic District
10. Johann Haller
11. Luis Martínez (boxer)
12. Dang Wangi LRT station
13. M-Kids
14. Brea Olinda High School
15. Le Rêve du Diable

So, what do you think? Clasical Grunge?

The only thing I learned from this meme is that soft cheese should never have a runny center. In fact, no cheese should have a runny center unless it's been microwaved and poured over nachos.
luvxander: (Default)
what the hell is with all these posts that say Livejournal auto-post? It's driving me nuts and I think I'm missing out on some cool meme thing.
luvxander: (Default)
Sorry I've been so quiet lately. I totally blame [livejournal.com profile] xanphibian. She has gotten me completely addicted to this hugely epic length crack AU rewrite of the entire HP series. Every moment I'm not at work, and many moments when I AM at work, have been spent devouring this.

I'm actually coming out of it right now to ask you guys for a favor. I remember seeing, and have been told about, Harry/Draco manips. There was one person that was said to be really great at them, but I can't remember the name. Do any of you know where I can find such things? I tried google, but it snapped at me and bit my fingers.

Also, I did this first impressions meme thing. Go over there and talk about me? I'm not asking you to lie, so only stuff about how great and wonderful I am, okay?

And now, I return to the life of Harry and Draco as they embark on the journey of love. Also, they're about to leap into battle against Voldemort. *bites nails*
luvxander: (mom says i'm cool)
I had a little trip to the doctor yesterday.

Seems the meds I was taking to help me lose weight had stopped working completely and I'd started gaining again. Even with the exercising. I'm now on a different pill, which I'm hoping will start showing more results.

I also talked with her about my depression. This past weekend, I scared even myself. I've now got Wellbutrin (sp?) to help with that and her office is calling around for a counselor that my insurance will pay for, to make me an appointment. I'm not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, I probably need someone to talk to. I've even thought about it myself, and discussed it in earlier posts. But on the other hand, the main reason I haven't gone and done it yet is that I don't even know how to talk to myself about most of the shit in my head, much less to a total stranger.

But anyways.....

A bit of info for anyone out there who A) doesn't know about it, and B) has, like me, more than one computer that they use on a regular basis, and C) uses Mozilla Firefox.

I just downloaded and installed Foxmarks. It's this neat little add-on that you can install and create yourself a name/password, then install on a second computer and it synchronizes your bookmarks. From now on, there'll be no more fumbling around, trying to find a notebook to write all that crap down or anything like that. If I lose my bookmarks for any reason whatsoever, I just hit ctrl-shift-s and pull them back up.

Now, I'm off to work, you guys don't have too much fun without me.

********

5/16/07 - 336lbs.

I'm bad...

Jul. 30th, 2006 01:30 am
luvxander: (Just love me)
I haven't read flist tonight at all. Got off work late, then ran with Mom to the store for bags full of snack/junk food to keep in the house. Our only redeeming quality is that, instead of soda, we bought Propel flavored water. But, to offset that, we got a LOT of chocolate. We're horrible, but we're happy(ish).

Also, just wanted to let a few people know something, in case you mind (and if you do, I can totally take you off, if that's what you want). [livejournal.com profile] entrenous88, [livejournal.com profile] ladycat777, [livejournal.com profile] neverneverfic, [livejournal.com profile] viciouswishes, and [livejournal.com profile] xanphibian - I added you guys to my "network" in del.icio.us. I've had the account thingie for a while now, but I just never really knew what to do with it. But after losing all my links, once again, I've found the beauty of having a back up.

Also, if anyone else has a del.icio.us account thingie, and doesn't mind, you can leave me a link in comments and I'll totally add you. This will also keep down the pleas for more fic links. It won't stop them, but it'll reduce them by about 2.5%

My del.icio.us account, if anyone's even remotely interested - luvxander

One last thing. I have a question for anyone that may have a PSP and know the answer.

I have a PSP and someone mentioned that you can save txt files to the memory card, using a USB cable, and the PSP will act as a ebook reader. Does anyone know if you have to have the program like you do for video files? Or can you just plug it into your computer and move the files to it like an external modem.

Last last thing - does anyone mind if I save your fics in txt files to carry around with me? I doubt most will, but I wouldn't want to offend, even accidentally.

Night all.
luvxander: (Default)
Hells above, you guys are a talkative lot. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I love that you talk and don't mind me reading, cause it makes me feel like I'm a part of your lives, even if you don't know me. And that makes it almost bearable to be living in Alabama.

Plus, [livejournal.com profile] entrenous88 wrote more of Temporary. Which, in fact, is NOT written especially for me, but I like to pretend. And one day, I will manage to give her a multi-chapter Xander/Andrew bunny, and also a multi-chapter Xander/Graham bunny. Cause her talent, cut loose on those pairings? *droooooooooooool*

And more of the Xander/Riley would be just as pleasing to the libido eyes as well.

I promised myself that I was going to write tonight. I have the opening lines to a loverly Xander/Andrew, possibly Xander/someone else that's definitely human, running around in my brain. But it's way too late and I'm way too tired to be understandable at all. I will write down the basic idea, so I won't lose that, and hope that I can come back to it tomorrow evening or such and pick it up. It's been so long since I've actually felt like writing that I almost feel like going to bed at *squints at clock* 2am is cheating. But, damn, it was a long day.

We upgraded our computers at work last night, from dos to windows 2000. Yes, you heard me right. We were using freaking DOS to run our retail program. This upgrade has our computers freezing up and going "Oh shit, they want us to WORK now." Kinda like how I am when I show up and clock in.

But I think I shall leave it for this evening and run off to dreamland where I can pretend that I was with here tonight, instead of at work.

And for those of you that listen, if you save all of Nick's audioblogs to your computer, then burn them to a cd, they make for excellent going-to-sleep music. Guarantees sweet dreams.

Night all, and I leave you with this....my own little egg. I have no idea what it's supposed to do, other than hatch. After that? It'll just be another little dying neopet that I've abandoned.


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