luvxander: (Xander pecs - pecs of Xander)
[personal profile] luvxander
Has everyone else seen this? It's hilarious.




Winchesters Fight Supernatural Menace with Weekly World News!

SPRINGFIELD, Ohio -- The quiet campus of Springfield University erupted recently with a string of violent and deadly attacks that were both inspired by and -- with the assistance of a pair of ghost-breaking brothers -- solved by Weekly World News

"We're a small college town," said Springfield Sheriff Wade Brogan. "The last murder in these parts was more than ten years ago, but that was a family dispute -- nothing compared to what just went on here. This was real gruesome."

"Even though this one was a real brain-twister, we figured out pretty fast the killer was more monster than human," said supernatural hunter Dean Winchester, one of the brothers who assisted the authorities in the murder investigation. "At least, we hoped he wasn't human, considering how he took out his victims."

But it was the murderer's modus operandi that eventually pointed Dean and his younger brother, Sam, toward a supernatural explanation.

"Sam and I -- well, we hunt these sort of things all the time," Dean said. "As your readers know, there's a whole world out there of the paranormal. It's kind of the family business."

The bloodshed began when a renowned professor took a nosedive from the fourth floor of an on-campus building, the alleged result of a ghost haunting the campus.

"There was a campus legend that Crawford Hall, the building Professor Cox fell from, was haunted," said younger brother Sam Winchester. "Some of the students believe a female student committed suicide there, jumped from room 669. And now she haunts the building."

According to the Winchester brothers, however, this was not a typical haunting. "The second victim was a real curve-ball" claimed Dean. "Believe it or not, it looked like an alien abduction."

"And then there was the research scientist," Sam added, "attacked by a giant alligator in the sewer."

Though it seemed like the Winchesters were facing an army of paranormal phenomena, the truth was that a single perpetrator was behind the campus killings.

"It took us a while, but we soon realized what we were dealing with a Trickster." According to Dean, tricksters are like immortal demigods. "They're -- well, tricky. They can create things from thin air, and stir up chaos and mischief with deadly pranks."

The real break in the case was the discovery of a massive collection of issues of Weekly World News in the campus office of one of the suspects.

"I can't believe it took us so long to put the two together," said Dean. "I mean, I've been subscribing to Weekly World News since the fourth grade. I should've realized every single crime this dude committed was based on a cover story. The Trickster was using 'The World's Only Reliable Newspaper' as his playbook."

With this clue--and a copy of Weekly World News--in hand, the Winchesters were able to anticipate the Trickster's next move and bring an end to the supernatural slayings.

"The only way to get 'em is a wooden stake, straight to the heart," Dean said, "The tough part is, the tip's gotta be dipped in the blood of one its victims."

Both the Springfield authorities and the Winchester brothers agree that this case might never have been broken without the help of Weekly World News.

"Gotta tell you, being on the road as much as we are, I was thinking of canceling my subscription," said Dean. "But after this, I think I'll just keep it coming. You never know when it might come in handy again."





You can check it out here at Weekly World News


***************

ION: I actually have good news to report. I woke up feeling much better today. I can breathe, only half of my muscles are all achey, and my throat isn't hurting at all. Now, I'm not bragging, nor am I getting my hopes up. But it seems as if I may actually be trying to get over some of this crap I've been carrying around since November. I'm so tired of being a walking Boubonic Plague carrier. (did I even spell that right?)

And, since I feel so good, I'm going to reward myself with an episode of Supernatural that I haven't seen yet before going to work.

*non-contagious hugs to all*

Date: 2007-03-02 07:17 pm (UTC)
aimeelicious: (nickb_byeyesthatslay)
From: [personal profile] aimeelicious
So glad you're feeling better!

Date: 2007-03-02 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Thank you, thank you.

Date: 2007-03-02 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stretfordditto.livejournal.com
So glad you're feeling better! Being ill sux...

Date: 2007-03-02 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luvxander.livejournal.com
Thank you. And I agree, wholeheartedly.

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