Look, I actually writed something.
Aug. 25th, 2009 10:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
luvxanderThis is completely unbeta'd, though if you wish to do so, I would welcome any suggestions you have for changes to be made. I was driving home from school and Full of Grace by Sarah McLachlan came on over my iPod. I've listened to that song a million times but, for some reason, it struck a cord in me today and this popped into my head almost fully written.
I've filled it in and it's not too terrible, I don't think. So, give it a shot, what've you got to lose?
Also, it's only about 650 words, give or take.
Untitled
Author: CJ/![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
luvxander
Disclaimer: Everything mentioned here belongs to other people. The only thing I own is my car. Please don't sue me.
Warnings: Spoilers for season 2 of Buffy. Though if you need a spoiler warning for that, I feel sorry for you.
Pairings: No particular pairing. This is all Xander-centric, though there are mentions of Xander/Angel.
Summary: Xander, at the end of Becoming Part Two.
Later, after he’d gotten Giles through the emergency room and sat with Willow long enough to be sure that she was really going to be okay, Xander made his excuses and left them with Oz and Cordelia. He told them all that he was going home to throw himself into a pain killer induced coma and sleep for a few days.
But as he made his way out of the hospital, Xander let the class clown façade that had become his auto-pilot over the last few months fall away. With no audience to keep appearances up for, he was on the verge of collapsing with fear and pain.
He looked west, the direction that would take him home to a relatively comfortable bed and the healing sleep he knew he needed. But it was a fantasy he couldn’t afford to indulge. Instead, he turned east and, as fast as his pain filled body would allow, made his way back across town to last place on earth he really wanted to be.
Surprisingly, nothing came out to stop him on his way. It had been a long time since he’d had to worry about the monsters coming after him for their midnight snack…well, other than one. But he had thought that with the power vacuum that had suddenly taken over Sunnydale, there would be someone that would already be stepping up to claim their spot as ruler of the Hellmouth.
Apparently, the demons didn’t want to risk harming the property of an old vampire. Even if that vampire was….nope, not going there. Nothing is certain without proof. Willow had told him that once and Willow was very very smart, you shouldn’t question Willow, because that way led to insanity.
As he neared the mansion, he was amazed at how different it looked now. Like what it was, really. An old, abandoned house. The sight made his chest clench and his stomach tried to give a heave, but he forced his body back under his control and reached out with his good hand to pull the door open.
Logically, he knew what to expect. If Buffy had lost, the world would already be a very different place. A place that he wouldn’t be able to survive in, no matter how many promises had been whispered to him in the middle of the night. Still, the door closing behind him sounded so loudly that it echoed in the empty rooms startled him. He couldn’t remember how many times he’d run through that door, slamming it behind him and never paying any attention to the sound it made.
He wandered through the rooms, memories of happier times assaulting his mind, until he came to the very center of the mansion, the wide open living area where the statue of Acathla still stood, a blessed sword projecting out from its heart. Seeing this, Xander felt as if his own heart had been pierced. He’d known the outcome of the battle, but he’d still hoped.
He fell to his knees, unable to continue standing against the weight of the grief filling him, and crawled on hands and knees toward the statue. The pain from his broken wrist was welcome as a distraction from the pain in his mind and heart, though nothing would ever be enough to drown them out.
Curling into a ball at the statue’s feet, Xander found a small silver chain with its clasp broken. He remembered giving that chain to Angel not so very long ago. Now, he took it and held it in his hands reverently, as if it would turn to dust and blow away on the wind if he let his gaze wander away from it. With his good hand, he brought the chain up to his face and placed a kiss along its knotted length and, finally, allowed the tears to come.
I've filled it in and it's not too terrible, I don't think. So, give it a shot, what've you got to lose?
Also, it's only about 650 words, give or take.
Untitled
Author: CJ/
luvxanderDisclaimer: Everything mentioned here belongs to other people. The only thing I own is my car. Please don't sue me.
Warnings: Spoilers for season 2 of Buffy. Though if you need a spoiler warning for that, I feel sorry for you.
Pairings: No particular pairing. This is all Xander-centric, though there are mentions of Xander/Angel.
Summary: Xander, at the end of Becoming Part Two.
Later, after he’d gotten Giles through the emergency room and sat with Willow long enough to be sure that she was really going to be okay, Xander made his excuses and left them with Oz and Cordelia. He told them all that he was going home to throw himself into a pain killer induced coma and sleep for a few days.
But as he made his way out of the hospital, Xander let the class clown façade that had become his auto-pilot over the last few months fall away. With no audience to keep appearances up for, he was on the verge of collapsing with fear and pain.
He looked west, the direction that would take him home to a relatively comfortable bed and the healing sleep he knew he needed. But it was a fantasy he couldn’t afford to indulge. Instead, he turned east and, as fast as his pain filled body would allow, made his way back across town to last place on earth he really wanted to be.
Surprisingly, nothing came out to stop him on his way. It had been a long time since he’d had to worry about the monsters coming after him for their midnight snack…well, other than one. But he had thought that with the power vacuum that had suddenly taken over Sunnydale, there would be someone that would already be stepping up to claim their spot as ruler of the Hellmouth.
Apparently, the demons didn’t want to risk harming the property of an old vampire. Even if that vampire was….nope, not going there. Nothing is certain without proof. Willow had told him that once and Willow was very very smart, you shouldn’t question Willow, because that way led to insanity.
As he neared the mansion, he was amazed at how different it looked now. Like what it was, really. An old, abandoned house. The sight made his chest clench and his stomach tried to give a heave, but he forced his body back under his control and reached out with his good hand to pull the door open.
Logically, he knew what to expect. If Buffy had lost, the world would already be a very different place. A place that he wouldn’t be able to survive in, no matter how many promises had been whispered to him in the middle of the night. Still, the door closing behind him sounded so loudly that it echoed in the empty rooms startled him. He couldn’t remember how many times he’d run through that door, slamming it behind him and never paying any attention to the sound it made.
He wandered through the rooms, memories of happier times assaulting his mind, until he came to the very center of the mansion, the wide open living area where the statue of Acathla still stood, a blessed sword projecting out from its heart. Seeing this, Xander felt as if his own heart had been pierced. He’d known the outcome of the battle, but he’d still hoped.
He fell to his knees, unable to continue standing against the weight of the grief filling him, and crawled on hands and knees toward the statue. The pain from his broken wrist was welcome as a distraction from the pain in his mind and heart, though nothing would ever be enough to drown them out.
Curling into a ball at the statue’s feet, Xander found a small silver chain with its clasp broken. He remembered giving that chain to Angel not so very long ago. Now, he took it and held it in his hands reverently, as if it would turn to dust and blow away on the wind if he let his gaze wander away from it. With his good hand, he brought the chain up to his face and placed a kiss along its knotted length and, finally, allowed the tears to come.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 05:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 05:47 pm (UTC)Xander/Angel was my first fandom love, and it still makes my heart pitter pat, even though I became a Spander girl later on. *pretends my icon is Xander/Angel*
no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 05:51 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you liked it. I've been really worried about it, with it being unbeta'd and all. And, ya know, the first thing I've finished in forever.
*also pretends my icon is Xander/Angel*
no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 10:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 01:44 am (UTC)Hee! Thank you! And you're welcome!
!i!love!these!exclamation!thingies!
no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 02:28 am (UTC)It took me months to get to where I could write this. Give me a couple weeks, I'll see what I can do.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 03:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 03:11 pm (UTC)Oooh, neat. Very keen and lovely. Yes, Xander/Angel was my first BTVS plaything as well- actually pretty much my only plaything in the verse until Angel got his own show and his own half-Irish Demon and Xander got Graham *g*
no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 10:01 pm (UTC)Thank you for your comments. I'm hoping to do something with regards to Angel's return, as a follow-up to this, but we'll just have to wait and see if my muse is back for good, of if she just dropped in to say hi on her way through town.