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luvxanderIs it bad when you go to gak a meme called 10 Things That Make Me Happy, and you can't think of anything to write down?
I've come to the conclusion that my level of depression is based solely on how tired I am. It's now a little after 9:30pm and I've been exhaused since around 2:00. My level of depression has gone downhill ever since.
I am so tired of all the voices in my head (not the crazy insane voices, the other ones) telling me how no one really likes me, that I'll always be a humongous blimp and should just give up on losing weight, so many other things from I don't know how to save money to telling me that no one would really notice if I wan't around anymore. I've considered therapy, but a) I can't afford it, b) I wouldn't even begin to know how to go about finding a good therapist. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep and maybe never get up, but I'm forcing myself to pretend to be cheerful and pretend that I even give a crap whether I wake up in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion that my level of depression is based solely on how tired I am. It's now a little after 9:30pm and I've been exhaused since around 2:00. My level of depression has gone downhill ever since.
I am so tired of all the voices in my head (not the crazy insane voices, the other ones) telling me how no one really likes me, that I'll always be a humongous blimp and should just give up on losing weight, so many other things from I don't know how to save money to telling me that no one would really notice if I wan't around anymore. I've considered therapy, but a) I can't afford it, b) I wouldn't even begin to know how to go about finding a good therapist. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep and maybe never get up, but I'm forcing myself to pretend to be cheerful and pretend that I even give a crap whether I wake up in the morning.
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Date: 2006-03-01 12:42 pm (UTC)*hug*
i'm here with some practical advice which you may think is a little preachy and know-it-all'ish but here it goes anyways ... if you wanna just say 'fuck off' then i'll completely understand (sometimes its really good to tell people to fuck off) :p
1. find out from your GP if theres any weight loss drugs on the USA market with the active ingredient sibutramine hydrochloride. Its a drug which was designed as an anti-depressant, but instead, it has the effect of lessening appitite and cravings while at the same time raising metabolism.
I've been on them for a month, and without changing my eating/exercise habits have dropped 13 kgs (thats 28.6 pounds)
i've just started my second month with the drug and have had no adverse sideaffects at all.
2. Everyone says exercise. and i'm gonna say it to, but not for the reasons you may think. NOT to lose weight, point 1 will take care of that. Exercise actually improves mood, and assists with sleep problems. I'm not talking about going nuts and working up a crazy sweat, just start out with something mild. If you have a dog, walk it around the block after dinner.
3. Do an 'oprah' and find one good thing every day ... even if its a false positive (eg: today i wasn't held up at gunpoint at work) ;)
*more hugs*
try and make sure you meet your needs for human survival, food, water, control, RL interaction (not online but face to face) and physical contact.
physical contact doesn't mean sex (tho thats always nice) it just means to physically touch another person .. its amazing just how many people in the world go thru a full 24hrs without touching another person. Even if you have to take up waltz classes at the local old peoples home try to find some way of physically touching another person. Its a need which is constantly overlooked, but its just as vital as oxygen. Its a true need 'of the soul'