Oh God

[luvxander]

Is it bad when you go to gak a meme called 10 Things That Make Me Happy, and you can't think of anything to write down?

I've come to the conclusion that my level of depression is based solely on how tired I am. It's now a little after 9:30pm and I've been exhaused since around 2:00. My level of depression has gone downhill ever since.

I am so tired of all the voices in my head (not the crazy insane voices, the other ones) telling me how no one really likes me, that I'll always be a humongous blimp and should just give up on losing weight, so many other things from I don't know how to save money to telling me that no one would really notice if I wan't around anymore. I've considered therapy, but a) I can't afford it, b) I wouldn't even begin to know how to go about finding a good therapist. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep and maybe never get up, but I'm forcing myself to pretend to be cheerful and pretend that I even give a crap whether I wake up in the morning.

Comments

[angeljade.livejournal.com]

Firstly, I like you. And everyone on your flist does, else they wouldn't be there. Secondly, you should NOT give up trying to lose weight. It's working...and no instant gratification is worth ruining all your hard work. It would mean everything you've done so far was a waste of time. I'm really proud of you for doing this.

To see a counselor, I went to my doctor and told him what was wrong. He put me in touch with the right people. I don't know how your health care system works over there, so I don't know how it would work for you. But just ask your doctor. It's a start! Doesn't mean you have to commit to anything.

In the meantime, make sure you're eating lots of fruit, veg, oily fish like salmon and maybe a handful of nuts (behave!) and seeds (pumpkin is my favourite). They'll make you feel loads better! I recommend blueberries, avocado (great for digestion) and orange (vitamin c can help headaches). I have a fruit smoothie for breakfast with 3-4 fruits (like mango, pineapple, strawberries and rasberries), a couple of tablespoons of natural low fat yogurt, tiny bit of milk and a handful of oats (slow releasing energy to stop you feeling hungry). Throw it all in a blender and you've had over half the 5-a-day fruit and veg you need. These kind of foods are going to boost your energy and your mood. It's not a cure or anything, but it'll make you feel better!



lol, sorry...didn't mean to sound like a government health warning there. Look after yourself and you can always talk to me! Just send me an e-mail or we can try and catch each other on MSN.

[jux-ta-pose.livejournal.com]

Go to bed..you definitely need sleep luv, tiredness is only going to make you feel worse. I know believe me.

*Squeezes him tight* No moping, its not allowed I tell you *small grin* And you know that is bullshit crap that no one likes you, honestly, what rubbish *smacks him on back of the head just because she feels like it* I'm fucking heaps older than you luv and I'm damned if I know how to save, someone clue me into the particulars of that...

Losing weight is a bitch, I honestly haven't really tried so I can't answer you that one. Therapists, I bloody hell that's an american thing isn't itr, everyones in therapy over there, okay i have no answer for that either.

As for crying, thats good for the soul, stops all that stress building up and you exploding because that would be just messy and i can imagine that a helluva lot of people here would be very very upset with you if you did. I'm not saying crying all the time because i'm guessing that comes right around back to therapy...

But we ALL feel like shit-crap-nothing sometimes and thats okay, that our right...anyway as you can see this comment is a lot of nothing but damn it I like you CJ and we don't even talk much these days so I can imagine what the others on your list are going to say about it.

*hugs tight again and then slaps him on the arse for extra measure then goes out looking for Xander and dipping him in chocolate.

[redeem147.livejournal.com]

Well, I like you. I only met you the one time (at Writercon) and liked you enough to friend you on lj (I don't do that with everyone, you know.)

[willa-writes.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, I know how you feel - very much so. If you ever want to talk to anyone, just ping me when I'm on YM. 'Kay? *hug*

[wajoma.livejournal.com]

darln,

*hug*

i'm here with some practical advice which you may think is a little preachy and know-it-all'ish but here it goes anyways ... if you wanna just say 'fuck off' then i'll completely understand (sometimes its really good to tell people to fuck off) :p

1. find out from your GP if theres any weight loss drugs on the USA market with the active ingredient sibutramine hydrochloride. Its a drug which was designed as an anti-depressant, but instead, it has the effect of lessening appitite and cravings while at the same time raising metabolism.

I've been on them for a month, and without changing my eating/exercise habits have dropped 13 kgs (thats 28.6 pounds)

i've just started my second month with the drug and have had no adverse sideaffects at all.

2. Everyone says exercise. and i'm gonna say it to, but not for the reasons you may think. NOT to lose weight, point 1 will take care of that. Exercise actually improves mood, and assists with sleep problems. I'm not talking about going nuts and working up a crazy sweat, just start out with something mild. If you have a dog, walk it around the block after dinner.

3. Do an 'oprah' and find one good thing every day ... even if its a false positive (eg: today i wasn't held up at gunpoint at work) ;)

*more hugs*

try and make sure you meet your needs for human survival, food, water, control, RL interaction (not online but face to face) and physical contact.

physical contact doesn't mean sex (tho thats always nice) it just means to physically touch another person .. its amazing just how many people in the world go thru a full 24hrs without touching another person. Even if you have to take up waltz classes at the local old peoples home try to find some way of physically touching another person. Its a need which is constantly overlooked, but its just as vital as oxygen. Its a true need 'of the soul'

[kaydee23.livejournal.com]

(((hugs))))I just saw this. Also, there might be some free or very low cost counseling in your area. You could contact the local MHMR agency in your area.

As for always being a blimp...I feel bad because I lost a bunch of weight a few years ago, and I gained most of it back. The real reason I lost the weight was because I got in a sort of contest with this bitchy friend of mine. We were trying to out do each other on exercising and losing weight, so I really did it all for a bunch of very negative and wrong reasons.

I've started exercising again, slowly, and I'm slowly getting back on track to eating better. Since the beginning of January to today, I've lost 7 pounds. That's pretty slow. When I was in the contest with the bitch, I could have lost 7 pounds in a weekend, but that's so unhealthy.

Try this first: Try just eating whatever you normally eat, but eating it on a smaller plate or looking at the clock and saying, "I have to spend 20 minutes, or 25 minutes eating my supper." Eat slowly and carefully. Keep putting down your fork, or your sandwich and take sips of water or your beverage in between. This will slow you down and make you aware. No fair getting up and just getting more and more to eat.

Also, try to get more sleep because studies are proving that sleeping more increases weight loss.

Finally, your exercising doesn't have to be a big big deal. You can march in place or pace the hall during the television commercials. You may feel like a crazy freak, but who's going to see you doing it.

Drink more water every day. Try to eat an apple every day. They're very filling.

(((hugs)))

[byakuganchick.livejournal.com]

I realize that you've already said you're over the 'poor me' bit, but I'll go ahead and post my two cents.

Point 1:

I like you. You are a wonderfully spiffy person and you're a ton of fun to be around. Seriously. You always make me and Steph laugh-and in the good "Heeheehee, Carl is so funny and sarcastic and let's hang around with him to see what else he says." type way, too.



Point 2:

Losing weight, don't give up on it. We love you anyway, but if it will make YOU feel better about yourself, than it's defintely worth doing. WE already see how special you are, but you need to realize it too.

And I've rather stupidly made a bet with Mom that I can lose fifty pounds before she does, so I'll be your weight loss cheerleader if you'll be mine. (There's a hundred dollars involved in this bet, I'd REALLY like to win it.)

Point 3:

Any time you want to talk, just call me. I have mastered the art of leaving my cell phone on at all times, so you can't use that excuse. And I keep it on my nightstand, so even if you need to talk in the middle of the night, I'll hear it. (I just won't be able to speak coherently for the first couple of minutes, but I'll get over that part.)

See you at work tomorrow! Movies! Squee!